It is January 1st…the beginning of a new year. I love things with an official start and finish. I love checking things off lists. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment of having completed something…so a new year is right up my alley. 2018 is finished…done. Survived it. Even…enjoyed a lot of it. It was another year that I got to watch my babies grow, watch my husband excel in advancing his career, got to work on my own personal health and start this blog. It also included watching Dusty be as stressed as I have ever seen him be, watching Gracie figure out 3rd grade is the real deal, seeing Addie continue to deal with night terrors and somewhat severe anxiety and last but of course not least watch Enslie work incredibly hard to learn things that every single person should be able to take for granted. That’s life though…there are highs and lows. Good and bad. I’m trying desperately not to give in to the “Next Thing Syndrome.” In my head, 2019 has been a year I have long looked forward to. Dusty will be done with school forever (it had best be forever, I’ve long threatened him with a 4th child if he goes for a 4th degree ;)). Money won’t be as tight. Time won’t be as tight. We will have more freedom in lots of areas. Enslie will be turning 2. I have always thought she will most DEFINITELY be walking by the time she turns 2. And, many specialists have told us they believe she will start talking as soon as she masters walking. I don’t know if I came up with the term caveman mentality or if one of them called it that, but basically, your brain focuses on what’s most important and if you were back in the caveman days…obviously walking would be more vital to surviving than talking. So, in theory, once she’s up walking, talking should come next.
The PROBLEM with me building up 2019 so much is that while yes, these things may happen (or not…who knows) life isn’t going to suddenly be all rainbows and sunshine! My best friend and I have talked about this “Next Thing Syndrome” for years. We all think that as soon as this next thing happens…we will finally be happy, finally content, finally have life figured out. And, this is simply never going to happen because guess what? As soon as some of these things fall in place…whatever that is for you or me, whether it be finding a significant other, finishing school, getting your dream job, getting that new house, that new opportunity….these things don’t magically make life perfect. They can make life better in some ways but I can promise you all new things bring about challenges as well. Using my issues for example…Dusty will be done with school but we are going to be figuring out a whole new way of life with him on a completely different schedule than he’s ever been, our dynamic being different, and he in fact has to find a job. It will NOT be flawless. Enslie learning to walk…while I’m convinced it will happen this year. It also might not. Or she might learn to walk and not talk for another 5 years. Any other number of issues that can come with her chromosome thing could decide to pop up. Fourth grade might be as big of an adjustment for Gracie Faye as third. Addie might not outgrow the night terrors this year. You getting your dream job could almost mean lots more stress. You getting that new house could come with unforeseen extra expenses.
Life isn’t easy. It’s not meant to be…MUCH is out of our control. Buuuuuut, I like control and so that leads me back to the New Year and New Resolutions. I’m going to try desperately not to look at how much better life is going to be in 2019 but rather I’m going to focus on what I can control…and I’ve come up with a few good resolutions to start the year with. If you’re in the market for a good resolution that is possible to keep…here are some ideas!
I have long subscribed to Proverbs 31’s daily email. If you haven’t subscribed to this you should here…Proverbs 31 Sign Up. Anyway, I am terrible at not taking the time to read these. This year, I am starting my week days with this. It’s going to be the very first thing I read before starting my day.
Water…that and coffee are all I drink but I’ve fallen on the way side about drinking as much as I should be. So, I’m starting January going to drink the recommended amount. So, 64 ounces a day…here I come.
Enslie walking…its been easy to not spend as much time working with her now that she is mobile. Prior to crawling, I cannot even begin to tell you how much time I spent working with her a day. So, I have to make this a priority. I’m spending 30 minutes a day working on this myself with her until she is walking. I know that doesn’t sound like much but I can promise you that with 3 kids, tax season coming, everyone feeling like they should be fed supper and our countless therapies, it will be a miracle if I can truly keep this one.
Then because I know I have about 152 things that I can improve upon myself, I’ve decided to start a new resolution each month. If it takes 21 days to make a habit, I’m going to be safe and give myself 30 just to make sure it sticks. A few of my upcoming months will be devoted to: flossing (every day…I know it’s gross that I don’t every day), doing at least 1 load of laundry EVERY day, sending a random thank you note once a month, writing out my prayers, keeping a thankful journal, not hitting the snooze button, and who knows what else I’ll come up with!
Let’s all look forward to 2019, friends! It will be great and not great and even bad. We’ll have accomplishments and failures and embarrassment and great joy! I feel like the serenity prayer is perfect for this day.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever and ever in the next.